Can't Have Just One
by Luwa
Summary: When Sesshomaru gets addicted to chips the boys can't seem to hold still. Rated for the brothers' mouths. Please R&R! No flames. Chapter 2 is up!
1. Default Chapter

**Can't Have Just One**

(Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or Lays chips!)

Kagome had just come back from the modern-era with a backpack full of sweet treats. Shippo had buried himself in her knapsack and found the mother load of sugary delights. He pulled out a bag of Lays chips and attempted to open it. Inuyasha rudely grabbed the bag away from him and started gorging himself whilst Shippo wailed loudly for him to share. Then a loud shuffling was heard in the grass, and Inuyasha found himself face-to-face with his older brother with his Tokijin by his neck.

"Now it's time for you to die!" Sesshomaru said in his usual flat tone. His gaze fell upon the bag and he snatched it away in the blink of an eye. He stared at it inquisitively at sniffed it tentatively. "Is this human food?" he questioned Inuyasha.

"Give it back!" Inuyasha protested. Sesshomaru thought for a second.

"It seems that Inuyasha really desire this strange "food," he murmured. He sniffed the bag again. "It doesn't smell poisonous, and Inuyasha was eating it." He forgot one thing though. He needed a hand to grab the chips, but his only one was holding them. If he put it down Inuyasha would grab them. He shoved him away with his foot whilst Inuyasha flailed like a fish out of water. Sesshomaru really wanted to annoy Inuyasha, so he did something very un-aristocratic: he stuffed his pretty face in the bag and took a chip in his mouth. He pulled his face out, which was covered in a film of grease, and consumed the chip in front of his brother. This act planted the seed of addiction which would soon spread throughout his body. Soon he found himself burying his face into the bag again and again. He continued to gorge himself until he finished the little bag off. Inuyasha was fuming.

"You show-off pig bastard!" he yelled. Kagome ran to Inuyasha and kneeled to him.

"Did you like the chips?" she asked.

Feh! My jackass brother ate them all!" he huffed. Sesshomaru wiped his face off with his sleeve and confronted her.

"Human, where did you obtain these?" he said while holding the bag.

"I can get some more with both of you," she stated. Kagome and Inuyasha walked to the well and they soon found out they were followed.

"Go away you wretch!" Inuyasha snapped at Sesshomaru.

"It's not like he can go through the well," Kagome said. She and Inuyasha dropped down to the well. Sesshomaru grumbled and stared down into the darkness. He decided to wing it and jump down. He passed through the well with no problem. He hopped out effortlessly and stared at his know slack-jawed little sibling. Inuyasha cursed violently and stomped his feet childishly. Sesshomaru considered him a two-year-old with the mouth of a sailor.

"Damn it! Why did you have to follow?" Inuyasha barked.

"I just want these "chips" as you call them," Sesshomaru stated as calmly as possible even though Inuyasha boiled his blood.

"I'll go to the store then, you two. Behave!" Kagome wagged a finger and rode off on her bicycle.

They sat there for fifteen minutes in Kagome's yard and they were already sick of each other. They sat there face to face muttering words under there breaths.

"Incest," Sesshomaru murmured.

"Make-up wearing prissy," Inuyasha growled.

"Mutt."

"Show-off."

"Bastard."

"Jackass."

This went on for awhile. They were becoming tense and they fondled the hilts of their swords as though the other wad ready to strike...and they were. Their all ready short tempers were razor-thin now.

"How can you stand that wench?" Sesshomaru stared maliciously.

"Who are you calling wench?" Inuyasha stood up.

"That scantly clad mortal," Sesshomaru sneered.

"Don't call her that!" Inuyasha shouted pounding his feet against the ground.

"She is such a loud mouth. Ugly too. Your taste in women is absolutely atrocious," he scoffed.

"Shut the hell up you imp-humper!" A large vein was popping in Sesshomaru's head. He grabbed the Tokijin and brandished it.

"TAKE THAT BACK!" he howled.

"NEVER!" Inuyasha roared. The fight was on.

Metal clashed upon metal. Soon it became personal. They were duking it out in hand-to-hand combat. They weren't afraid to fight dirty either. They were like dogs battling over a scrap of meat. Inuyasha went one step to far. He kneed him in both a male humans' and demons' most sensitive area. Sesshomaru gripped his southern half while gasping and choking on his on spit.

"You inbred bastard," Sesshomaru squawked. His eyes glowed an ominous red and he stood up. His growls soon became howls in rage. He soon stood in his three-legged true from. He didn't hesitate to open his jaws and clamp them over his brother. He let him struggle his inescapable death trap. The saliva slowly melts him. Sesshomaru heard the squealing of a bicycle's tires and he spat the twitching half-demon out like a hairball. He tumbled out coated in spit. Kagome was carrying two bags of chips.

"Here you go boys," she handed them over while Sesshomaru was waging his tail and panting. "Uh oh! I meant to get two sour cream and onion. I guess you'll have to decide." Inuyasha just groaned.

"Please let him have it." Inuyasha mumbled. Sesshomaru had now returned into his usual (and very sexy) state. "Thanks for not eating me."

"I don't eat junk food," Sesshomaru said. He suavely walked back onto the well and returned to the feudal era.


	2. The Ramen Brothers

**Chapter 2 **

**The Ramen Brothers**

Things have been unusually quiet after the potato chip incident. Inuyasha felt crestfallen and humiliated at the thought of being crumpled spit-up of his elder half-brother. Yet things were not perfect in the land of fluff. All the chips that Sesshomaru gorged on had given him a stomachache, and when dog demons had belly trouble it was not pretty. Therefore, the score was as follows: Sesshomaru 1 Inuyasha 1 (because Sesshomaru threw up once). Sesshomaru sat on the ground trying to look as dignified as possible, yet that is an unobtainable cause when you have cramps and indigestion.

"Ugh, I need something to settle my gut," Sesshomaru groaned quietly. He clenched his writhing tummy and decided to remove his armor (fangirls say whoot!). The repugnant imp of a servant scurried up to him.

"Sir, Naraku has been spotted in the North," stated Jaken. Sesshomaru glared at him.

"How can he talk about that monkey man at a time like this?" Sesshomaru gritted his teeth. He was too sick to give Jaken his daily punching. Suddenly a smell was wafting through the air. It smelt of warm beef. "That could mend by pain." So without warning Sesshomaru got up and walked toward the heavenly scent.

Kagome was promptly stirring a fresh pot of Ramen for her little mutt. He sat staring at the food eagerly, in a pouting position with a scowl on his face.

"Lousy son of a bitch brother," he repeated.

"Now, now don't disrespect your elders," came a familiar (and oh so suave) voice. Inuyasha looked back and almost wet himself at the sight of Sesshomaru appearing behind him, and he did not even hear his footsteps. "Food, need food," Sesshomaru groaned. Kagome was wary.

"I don't want you two to make a ruckus like you did last time," Kagome wagged her finger. Sesshomaru looked down at her. He widened his eyes, curled his bottom lip, and whined like a puppy. Kagome could not resist the puppy-dog eyes and had to give in. Kagome served him up a fresh bowl before Inuyasha. Inuyasha growled a glared at the soft-eyed persuader. Sesshomaru 2 Inuyasha 1. Sesshomaru tested it sheepishly by poking at the noodles with a chopstick.

"You're supposed to eat it, not probe it!" Inuyasha barked impatiently while he was being served.

"Sit!" Inuyasha crashed to the ground for being rude.

"I need that for Jaken," Sesshomaru thought. Inuyasha was finally served (but an obviously smaller portion than his brother for being a smart ass). They ate peacefully for a change for the exception for Inuyasha's incessant slurping. Sesshomaru ate like the dainty lord he was to avoid aggravating his belly again. Things actually seemed peaceful for a while. Sesshomaru decided to leave them be to let his food digest. He was ready to sit up and promptly take his leave, when Kagome's rapid shuffling through her objects knocked the boiling pot over on Sesshomaru's lap. Even for a demon, the water burned him badly. "You stupid bitch!" Sesshomaru howled. Inuyasha jumped up at the remark.

"Take that back, asshole!" Inuyasha lunged at him with the chopsticks to poke Sesshomaru's eyes. Sesshomaru parried the attack with his own one-handed style. It was a stick duel to the death (or until someone got a splinter). Kagome was horribly embarrassed for pissing Sesshomaru off. Sesshomaru threw the chopsticks at Inuyasha, and pinched one of Inuyasha's ears. Inuyasha grabbed Sesshomaru's famous pelt, escaped his brother's grasp, and lugged the fur over his shoulder. "I'm Sesshomaru, a pompous asshole who after all my bragging is still a virgin, and I touch myself every night," Inuyasha mocked. Sesshomaru was flaming mad and to top it off, the boiling water was soaking his pants and burning his skin. He tried with all his grit to endure it, yet it was still boiling his lily legs. The move was absolutely desperate and foolhardy, alas to avoid a burn, he knew it was the only way. He took off his pants.

Sesshomaru blushed like never before in his entire lifetime. His little brother and his wench were staring and snickering at his underwear (and out of his vision, a certain authoress was taking many pictures). He ran like never before almost crying. His pride was massive now was crushed so hard. He sulked back to his camp with Rin bewildered and Jaken drooling.

"Milord, I take that it didn't go well for your search for food," Jaken murmured trying to keep his eyes at the pant less lord. Sesshomaru threw an object at him, but it was not a rock, it was beads. They wrapped around the servant's neck. Jaken was puzzled and acted as though comforting him, but went to touch Sesshomaru's thigh.

"Jaken, sit!" Sesshomaru commanded. _Thud! _Jaken was flatter than a toad on the road. Sesshomaru had asked for some of the beads for his imp before he was boiled. Sesshomaru just lounged around until his pants dried.

Sesshomaru 2 Inuyasha 2 Jaken -100


End file.
